Present from Joanna
by honeybun57
Summary: This is my entry for this months comp. When Barley dies Joanna finds that her grandfather had a secret that will rock her life.


**Present from Joanna.**

The funeral had been a week ago now and, what with everything else to focus on, this morning was the first time that May had had a chance to go through her grandfather's things. Jack had brought her there that morning and then tactfully taken their small son and daughter away to play on the beach

when she'd asked for time alone . May smiled to herself as she straightened the curtains in the small kitchen. The place was wonderfully clean, Manna and Sasha had seen to that for her. It still seemed like a miracle to her that Jack had never married; at one time she'd been sure that he and Karen would make a couple but Jack had said that something had always held him back and it wasn't until May turned eighteen that he finally realised just what it was. They'd waited until she was twenty and it was almost as if Barley had waited for the birth of the twins to finally lose his hold on life and peacefully die in his sleep.

His death had hit May hard, after all he was all the family she had ever had, up till now, and he'd been all the family she had ever needed. Oh, yes, when she was young she had cried for her mother, Joanna and yearned for her return. She could remember running away one day, intent on finding her and Jack had found her down on the beach. He'd dried her eyes and brought her home to her grandfather. In fact that was the very time she'd decided she loved Jack and it was also the very last time she ever asked after Joanna.

Kneeling beside the old chest in Barley's bedroom she loving lifted out his old shirts and folded them for the last time before packing them into boxes for the charity shop. May smiled to herself, not that there was much wear left in most of them. She'd decide to keep back a few things for Benjamin such as Barley's pocket watch and his cane. She already had her grandmothers ring for Tamar but the rest could go. She'd never need reminders of her grandfather, his love for her coloured every moment of her life. With a sigh she got to her feet and went to lift down his jacket from the hook on the back of the bedroom door. As she did so there was a rustle of paper from the inside pocket. Looking inside May drew out a rich cream envelope and there was her name written in her grandfathers spidery hand.

When Jack arrived an hour later, May was sat at the kitchen table.

" Thank God their asleep, " Jack sighed, " I'm getting too old for this I'm nearly forty." Then he saw his wife's tear stained and pale face and went straight over and took her in his arms. " Oh, sweetheart, I know I should have stayed and helped you. What's wrong?"

Silently, May held out the crumpled letter and he took it and sat down.

" Are you sure you want me to read this?"

May nodded.

My darling May,

I want you to know that I have always loved you and never more so than now when I know that I must soon leave you. You have been the light of my life and the meaning of my every day. However, I have not always been truthful with you and now, as we are about to travel along different roads, I feel that you need to know the truth. Remember, no one could ever have loved a granddaughter more than I loved you but you are not my granddaughter. Joanna was never your mother and there are no ties of blood between you and I.

I did once have a daughter called Joanna, the most beautiful little girl that you ever did see. My wife, Eliza and I adored her and my life was heaven. We'd both been old when Joanna was born and that little girl was everything to us. I was working the ranch hard then to make a living for us and when Joanna wanted to go boating one day I let Eliza take her on her own. I was too busy that day to go. A storm blew up when they were out in the Bay and both Eliza and Joanna drowned. I went crazy with grief. I don't remember much of the next few months. Eliza's body was washed up a few days later but Joanna was never found. They said I was like a mad man, I refused to believe my little girl was gone. I'd wander the shore calling for her. I slept on the beach just in case she came back. I tried to take my own life and Duke and Zac found me in time. I'd lost everything.

I know this isn't an excuse for what I did but what I did, but was it all that bad.

Jack gave a gasped and looked up at May in horror but she simply motioned for him to read on.

Sixteen years after Joanna's death we had a a couple of season's when the area was plagued with hippies coming from the cities and setting up camps on the beach. They'd have wild parties and then leave leaving behind all their trash for us to clear up. One group descended on us and partied for a week or so and then suddenly upped and left in the night. We all went down as a group a day or so later to clean up the beach. I found you there, in among the rocks. You were tiny, week from dehydration and starvation. You looked so small there, lying in the remains of a camp-site. You were filthy, dressed in a tatty Tshirt; I remember it well, it was the sort a certain type of girl would wear, blue with stick on rag stars. You looked up at me with such sad eyes and I couldn't help myself. I wrapped you in my coat and held you close. You were too young to tell us anything and there was nothing to give us any clues. Apparently I refused to give you up and kept saying you were a gift from my Joanna.

Don't get me wrong sweetheart, we did try to find out who you were but no one came looking for you, no child was reported missing, we had no idea who those gypsies were. Like most sea gypsies they just vanished with the tide. What were we to do. By this time I knew I couldn't give you up so we just left off looking.

Please forgive your old grandfather, I hope you can still think of me that way. I know I should have told you the truth long ago but the longer I left it the more impossible it became. I was terrified someone would come and take you away. I made up the story of you being Joanna's child and everyone went along with it. I think that over the years I nearly came to believe it myself. How could I ever face you after telling the person that meant most to me in this world that she had been thrown away like some much fast food wrappings. Please don't blame the others they were only doing what they thought was best. They could see just how much you gave me, how through you I found my life again. I know this will have come as an awful shock to you but please believe me finding you was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and I can go to my rest knowing that you have the love of Jack and those amazing children to see you through the rest of your life.

Yours and always yours Grandfather.

Jack just stared at the letter in disbelief. He was having trouble taking it all in. To think that they'd all known about this and no one had ever said a word.

" I can't believe it, I just can't believe it" He whispered.

" Oh, I can, " May answered him, " It explains so many things. " The way no one would ever talk about my mother, I mean Joanna. The way I have no birth certificate, why there's nothing of the adult Joanna in the house. I just never put it all together before."

" What do you want to do about it?" Jack asked nervously. " Whatever you decide I'll back you, love. We can try to find who your real family are if that's what you want.

" No." May stood up and screwed the letter up in her hand," You're my real family, Barley was my real family. I don't need any other and I never did. May be I was a gift from Joanna, who knows."

She crossed over to the stove and pushed the letter into the flames.

" All I know is that Barley found me and gave me the most wonderful life any little girl could ever have had. He gave me all the love he ever had to give and this other life means nothing to me. Let this secret die with him. I don't care, I'll always be his granddaughter, Joanna's child, your wife and Benji and Tamar's mother and that's all the world I need.


End file.
